Vampires Suck

They explode in the sunlight! They are terrified of garlic! They cannot cross your threshold unless you invite them in.Oh really? Not in these two irreverent stories about vampires. HEAL FFS features a sophisticated vampire who has an excellent life, complete with a comfortable home, a more than adequate fortune and every luxury you can imagine. So why is he so pissed off? He can't beat that lastlevel of his favorite video game. He might be needing some unexpected help of the sexy kind…SUCKS TO BE YOU is a clear warning about experimenting with junk snacks, a recipe for Medieval mead, and a time-spanning summoning spell. The result proves that vampires can actually enjoy peanut butter, great sex and a modern bathroom, not to mention meatballs with garlic. However, adjusting to this century? Well, that might be a problem. Sometimes, it truly does suck to be you…