Sir Apropos of Nothing

They were dark and stormy knights...and when they had their way with a helpless tavern wench one terrible evening, they didn't know the product of that twilight brutality would be the rogue Apropos of Nothing. Through happenstance, Apropos becomes a squire in the court of the good King Runcible. Matters deteriorate when a routine mission to escort the king's daughter home after a long absence goes horribly awry, and Apropos must survive a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and--most problematic of all--a princess who may or may not be a psychotic arsonist.