Heroics for Beginners

When a seemingly crazy, poorly dressed soothsayer tells you not to let a magical talisman fall into the wrong hands, take him or her seriously. DO NOT laugh it off and leave said talisman simply lying around on a side table; you might as well just end the world yourself.
--The Handbook of Practical Heroics, p. 134

The kingdom of Deserae is in the most direly perilous of dire perils. The realm's precious magical talisman--Ancient Artifact Model Seven--is in the grimy hands of the evil Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named)...

Only one man can stop him (and, by the by, win the hand of Deserae's exceedingly well-proportioned princess). Unfortunately, he's never really done this sort of thing before. But Prince Kevin Timberline is determined to find a way into the Fortress of Doom (perhaps through the gift shop?), resist the advances of a leather-clad, whip-wielding temptress (well, maybe that's not so bad), and face an army of unspeakable nastiness (okay, that's bad), armed only with his reasonably pure heart, questionable courage--and most importantly, a copy of The Handbook of Practical Heroics...