Fatal Attraction

“Hey.” He interrupted me smoothly. “Would it make you feel better if you didn’t have to know? If you could just do?” I wasn’t sure if it would or if it wouldn’t. I’ve never cared for surprises. I live my life according to calculations, statistics, numbers, plans, and rules. Lines. Grids. Everything I did revolved around order. Structure. Control. Everything, until Dan. “I’m a little uptight,” I admitted. “I’m a lot uptight, actually. I’m very tense. A lot. And I have issues about control.” It seemed obvious to me, but Dan shook his head. “I don’t see that about you at all.” “You don’t?” I sat back from him. The wine was wearing off. “Tell me, Dan. What do you see?” He smiled and looked me up and down. “I see a woman who’s smart and sexy as hell.” He laughed at the look I gave him. “Elle, I mean it. Sure, you’re a little…reserved. But you’re not uptight. Especially not with a couple glasses of wine in you.” I waited a moment before answering. “Have you ever listened to a sound so long you’ve forgotten you were hearing it until it stopped?” “Sure.” His hand tightened on mine a bit. “Cicadas, the year they came out. They were so loud they sounded like a spaceship landing, but after a while it just became background noise until night-time, when they stopped and I realized they weren’t still buzzing.” I nodded. “White noise. That’s the inside of my head. All the time. I’m never not thinking about something. I just…keep going and going, all the time.”