Annabel Poe

My maiden name was Annabel Poe, but then I married Dirk Peabody, and in an unfortunate burst of romantic enthusiasm, I consented to have my last name changed to Peabody. I say unfortunate because when I had been Annabel Poe, I had always thought of myself as a beautiful woman with my raven-black hair, attractive figure, and feisty personality. But after twenty-five years of living under the name of Annabel Peabody, my hair turned grey, I began to put on weight, and it wasn't long before I developed an inferiority complex. However, after I was arrested and charged with murder, I began to revert to the person I had been when my name was Annabel Poe. I still looked the same with my somewhat homely appearance, small stature, and old-fashioned Granny's-bun hairdo, but quite unexpectedly, a very dark side of my personality emerged when I was thrown into the limelight and had to defend myself against a number of powerful people who were determined to send me to prison for the rest of my life. It was only after enduring the mockery of the crowd and the taunts of my persecutors that I was able to spring a trap that took everyone completely by surprise. Relentlessly tormenting the judge, who physically assaulted me and called me the biggest piece of trash to ever enter her courtroom, I came away from my trial with over a half-million dollars in settlement money. Nowadays, the only thing I regret about my encounter with the law is that I forgot to tell my accusers one very obvious fact about Annabel Poe: Sass me and I'll sass you back.