About This Book
Many relationships suck, but these killer heartbreakers are out for blood. In ancient Mesopotamia, a witch gives Sargon the Great super-powers, immortality, and a blood-thirsty monster to create the first empire. 4400 years later, his sadistic son wants to turn everyone into vampire juice and created Dracula. Sargon must now battle blood-suckers to decide the fate of humanity in this fun thriller. EXCERPTS: “You can’t teach crazy, but you can learn a lot by watching.†He made the sexy witch laugh. That mistake would cost billions of people their lives in nearly 5000 years. “I don’t like bullshit. Stepping in it once sucked my boot off.†The hot ancient vampire caught Jake’s eye like a fish hook. She slew Jake with a sexy smile. “I want this one,†she told Sargon in a way that petrified Jake’s wood. That shocked her. “Don’t scare me like that!†“How should I scare you?†he asked. Sargon crested the ridge and tightened his sphincter at the sight of the huge army in his way. “It took me 4400 years to find you,†Vampiro told his dad venomously. “That’s because you suck, son. More than most vampires.†She claimed to be the 10th generation witch in the family. Meeting his grandmother changed Sargon’s life and cured his constipation. Vampiro’s attitude was slaughtering Dracula, who got off his high horse and put his arm around Vampiro, something no one had ever done except in self-defense. An ancient turned his chair over and bent the metal legs like they were putty. “You’re not telling us everything,†the president accused Sargon. They arm-wrestled and Sargon beat Vampiro like a puppy. “I’m sure feeling those veges,†Sargon said. Thousands of cities suffered outbreaks. People who never dreamed it could get so bad never imagined it ever getting better. Millions died, millions turned into vamps, and millions fled. One guy spoke for them all: “Anything is better than becoming vampire juice.†A boot tried kicking the bitch out of her, but instead flung her across the room. She collapsed on the bed and moaned with desire. That’s when she first scared him. Swords twirled, disarming vamps literally and beheading them occasionally. Bleeding a vampire to death -- the irony was killer. He was too constipated to give a shit and her serum tasted like crap.
