Touched

My name is Lena Lake, and I’m living on my Father’s couch. The sad
thing is that I mean that in the literal sense since my bedroom is
being remodeled. I don’t have a job and spend every day watching a
riveting line-up of talk shows. My choice of snack is carrots and
ranch dressing, since my meddling stepmother is on a crusade against
MSG. Not to worry, I have contraband hidden in my stepbrother Nick’s
closet. He’s away at college and won’t be using his real estate any
time soon. Some of you are probably thinking that I’m a loser with no
self-respect. What kind of twenty-four year old sits on the couch and
does absolutely nothing? Well, I’ll tell you. The kind that’s being
hunted. In order for you to understand why, I’ll have to start from
the beginning.