Thor and Nigel

There were split heads and spilt blood, dazed little old ladies, farmers whose waist-coats had succumbed to the strain, Mel’s cycle racing team were well under the weather and â€" it was mayhem.
The Cornish poets in translation had been at the cider and the first surfers were riding the mother of all waves up the valley.
Olivia’s house was merrily ablaze and you couldn’t stand for empty bottles. It had been the party to end all parties â€" The Party for the End of Time.
A perplexed apprentice witch was conceited enough to think it might be all her fault but as far as Nigel, the most philosophical pirate ever to ponder the mysteries at sea and Thor, the striking Viking were concerned enough was enough. There is only a certain amount of rape, booze and pillage that even the best of men can cope take.
All they wanted to do was pause for breath, exchange life-stories and discover the therapeutic qualities of man hugs.