They Wear What Under Their Kilts?

Subject: Emily's Glossary for People Who Haven't Been to Scotland
From: Mrs.Legolas@kiltnet.com
To: Dru@seattlegrrl.com

Faffing about: running around doing nothing. In other words, spending a month supposedly doing work experience on a Scottish sheep farm, but really spending days on Kilt Watch at the nearest castle.

Schottie: Scottish Hottie, also known as Ruaraidh, the subject of much drooling and first prize in the "Who Can Snog Him First" contest.

Mad schnoogles: the British way of saying big smoochy kisses. Will admit it sounds v. smart to say it that way.

V: very. Using it abbreviated is coolio to the third power.

Bunch of yobbos: a group of mindless idiots. In Scotland, can also mean sheep. You can take it from me—there is nothing stupider than a sheep, especially when you're trying to make them take their liver medicine.

Stooshie: uproar, as in "If Holly thinks she can take Ruaraidh from me without causing a stooshie, she's out of her mind!"

Sheep dip: not an appetizer.