The Title of Extraordinary Length - A Parody

Alicia can't stand the horrible leaders who put on a great show with lots of glitz and glamour for everyone, but who also force kids like her sweet little sister to answer calls to the government as mimes. Not that callers like it either, but Alicia and the other questers are determined to stop the insanity. And, will a great feel-good story finally bring Cleveland a World Series? (Why is a baseball story here? See the Acknowledgements) First, though, who is the Mary Sue who will lead the battle. Is it Cat, whose parents died because of government hackers? Alicia's brothers think so, they can't stop their wacky one-upmanship to prove their love for her. Or maybe it's Evelyn, who has her own love interest and whose violin playing is ridiculed for... Okay, it really is that bad. The tyrant's decrees are ridiculous. Even going to the bathroom is unsafe for them - good thing noone does during a quest. Can they defeat the evil king, rescue Alicia's sister, and restore sanity to their world?