The Runaway Bachelorette

Lainie Wells will get married. She will, she will, she will. It’s perfect. He’s perfect. Her life will be perfect. Bleh, bleh, bleh. Thoroughly confused and utterly disgusted with herself, she’s resigned to impending marriage. Besides, Mary Kate has everything planned and her father has footed an astronomical bill thus far. She will, she will, she will. And she keeps saying that all the way up to the point where her ex-lover and maximum curler of her toes, Simon Shepherd, takes the stage during the drag show, links gazes with her and won’t let go, and later feels her up back stage until she’s spent and more. Suddenly, “I do” feels more like “I don’t.” But Simon left her two years earlier, telling her he was gay. Why is he coming after her now? And who is that other guy watching him feel her up?