The Lineup

Want to know a secret?It's about that girl over there.Don't look, but she's the one in the power suit-with the long, black hair and the serious expression, the one I'm about to go on a date with . . .Yeah, according to her, she accidentally donated an obscene amount of money to my charity - The Lineup - to win said date but I found out the truth. Miss. Button Up Blouse has a secret, passionate crush on me. I didn't know her name until two days ago, despite the friends we have in common. Was I oblivious? Probably.Was I blind to it? Definitely.But I'm no fool, I see it now. The High Heel Harlot wants more than just a date with Jason Orson, she wants to be able to claim the best butt in baseball as hers. Here's another secret . . . she has no idea I know.