The Fury Clock

MAYHEM, MAGIC AND MANIAC DWARVES Malix Shandy, the best-looking scoundrel in the kingdom, sets off on a hopeless quest to find the dreaded Fury Clock. If he doesn't find it in seven days, he'll suffer a fate worse than death. Teamed up with a fairly enormous ogre and a psychotic dwarf, Shandy starts to think maybe death would be restful after a week in such company. Brimming with romance, exciting elves in tight pants, dirty farmboys out to save the world, and tasty roast boar, The Fury Clock will tick-tock your universe into goat-flavored, literary utopia. After all, it isn't every day you discover the shocking truth about gnomes, dragon eggs or Instant Boots. Here's what some famous people could've said about The Fury Clock: "A fantastic story! It played on my heart strings like a Cossack smashing a Stradivarius. I postponed overthrowing the Tsar in order to finish this book! Totally mega kudos!" V. I. Lenin "Bunn's prose is like snow falling gently on warm ashes of sacked city." Genghis Khan "This so-called writer, this Bunninski, he is capitalist peasant. He will be executed." J. Stalin "Oink!" Fritzl the Pig