About This Book
'Tis the night before Christmas, almost another f**king Christmas Eve and the world's most infamous unrepentant naughty boy, Detective Jacob Marley of Marley & Marley Investigations has been offered $1,000,000.00 Christmas dollars by The Christmas Internal Affairs Division to solve the most heinous crime imaginable. FATHER CHRISTMAS has been assassinated. With the festive countdown to Christmas Day already begun, the clock is ticking. Only, with one half of Marley & Marley Private Investigations already dead and not yet cold at the crimescene, our man, Detective Jacob Marley needs a replacement partner if he's any chance of cashing in the reward money, should they actually bring in, DEAD or ALIVE, Mister Bo-Jangles. A renegade AWOL Christmas Elf, who either pulled the trigger, or saw the murdering sonnuvabitch who did. Having fled the scene of the crime, and the Christmas Grotto so as to go to ground in the one place a Christmas Elf can hide and never be found, our man must follow Bo-Jangles into the heart of the one place in the world he hates more than anywhere else: especially during the holiday season: CHRISTMAS TOWN NYC itself! Can Christmas be saved? Can our man find the Elf in time? Rest assured, for Jacob (NO CRIME TO SMALL. NO CRIMINAL TOO SMALL) Marley, a ruthless Christmas Town Detective with a reputation as a naughty boy catcher for never bringing em' in ALIVE, & Samuel (NO JOINT TOO IMPOSSIBLE TO ROLL) Rabbit, a beatnik freewheelin' Californian hippy, enlisted by chance and good fortune as our man's replacement partner to assist. CHRISTMAS TOWN NYC will NEVER be the same again. The hunt for the world's MOST WANTED Elf is on! GET READY FOR THE GREATEST NO HOLDS BARRED FESTIVE CHRISTMAS ROLLERCOASTER OF YOUR LIFE! REMEMBER: NAUGHTY BOYS BEWARE! THE MINISTRY OF CHRISTMAS IS WATCHING YOU! In the words of Jacob Marley himself... "Merry F**king Christmas! Gob bless us one and all." The Adventures of Rabbit & Marley in CHRISTMAS TOWN - The Bo-Jangles Conspiracy (aka A Christmas Carol meets BLADERUNNER!)
