The Amityville Bother

I have heard that when Hollywood makes a film about an event that happened somewhere, the only thing that is ‘actual' is the fact that they used a camera to shoot it with and the rest is all made up for entertainment purposes. So I thought ‘I'll do the same', but I also swear blind that this this little piece of jibber jabber is absolutely true. It's all based on events recalled to me by eye witnesses and it took me years to research. The thing is that all the witnesses I've ever spoken to to bring you the facts, are all dead and their stories have all died with them; I find this awfully convenient. Every time I try and invent something my mind just goes blank. I should be hired by Hollywood.