Summer Helliday

Howzat! Strawberries and cream! Hayfever! School's broken up and I've got the chance to be a celebrity at last! There's a film audition in my neighbourhood and I'm determined to get the main part even if it means having to kiss Mrs Muttley's warty hands to get dancing lessons. Mum wants to drag me off on a family caravan holiday with Granny, but that clapped-out old toilet on wheels won't come between me and super-stardom. Nor will the caravan. My big brother and sister want to ruin my chance of fame, but I've got friends in high places, and I'm not just talking about Mr E when he's on top of a skip. So watch out Mel and William! RIP. Revenge Is Planned.