Mrs Hartley and the Growth Centre // Midlife Mischief // Alice Hartley's Happiness

The Hartleys' marriage is in trouble. Statuesque Alice of the khol-eyes and the gypsy shawls can no longer arouse the interest of her husband Charles, a pompous professor. Despite her spirited rendition of the Dance of the Seven Veils, her heightened consciousness, her organic carrot cake and her many-coloured pop-socks, she still leaves him cold. Her philandering professor husband finds his wife's herbal remedies and homeopathic consciousness strangely unappealing, compared to the charms of a dim but stunning undergraduate, who has only one way of passing her exams.

Just as Alice is compelled to face this chilling truthk she meets Michael Coulter, a young gullible student with an excessive libido. In Michael, Alice discovers an endless supply of all she has sought: revenge, sex and a large house suitable for conversion. They create a "Growth Centre", a haven for women to cast off frustration through meditation, drugs and alcohol. Sadly, neighbours and the police seem impervious to the healing vibrations.