Lola

Being single in a world where everything is thorn-covered roses and bags of bloody bones sucks! Heidi's got Hunter, Bert's got Luci…hell, even Lucifer's got Trixie and then there's me, the sexiest alter ego this side of Purgatory… stuck inside a Hellhound who's happier than a zombie at a Doom's Day Party at the body farm.

Sure, Heidi and her Hunkie Hellhound hump like rabbits getting ready for Easter but even that's gotten boring. I need to get out, see the Underworld, sow my wild oats. I mean, a girl's gotta get hers while the gettin's good, am I right?

It's taken six long months of bitchin'… I mean persuading, gentle persuading, but Heidi's finally agreed to find me a body. So, it's back in the Lady Bug Express and off to West Virginia, but this time we're avoiding the crazies and heading straight for Asscrack.

We're gonna find Zelda, the next Baba Yaga, have her yank me outta Heidi and shove me into a fresh new body then bingo bango, Lola's gonna get her groove on. It looks like I might even end up with some powers, seems Cookie, the chickie giving me her skin, was a Witch when she was still breathing. Imagine that… me with magic. I'm positively giddy at the idea.