Letters to Heaven

I followed my best friend into the military. There is no other reason for me to have joined. Now, I'm with my best friend and have no one home to write to or share my thoughts about what my life now entails. Instead, I send letters to the one person who always had my back and loved me more than anything else in their world. It's not much, but it lets me vent and my words don't go anywhere other than on a piece of paper. Yes, I could vent to my best friend and the other guys who are on my team. They would completely understand where I'm coming from and there is no reason I don't talk to them. For me, writing to my family member is a way to still feel as if they're with me. That they didn't leave me all alone with so many ways to change my life at such a young age. Will they be proud of the man I'm becoming or am I disappointing everyone with my actions?