Incel

This is a work of fiction.Being ugly saved my life. It defined me and made me. My life has been spent on the front line of ugly, un praised and plainshamed.I was born in a home where violence bounced of the walls. My parents were white trash, unstable alcoholics, damaged people, and damaged people have damaged children.This is the story of one of them.I live in a world where everyone is a work of art to my cracked and chipped vase. I flinch at my grotesque features. I am my own horror film. Diseased and deformed I live in the shadows. Places you don't go. I am a ghost but I am not yet dead.I will talk of suicide and rape and killing but most of all I will talk about pain and loneliness. The unbearable bleakness of being.I will tell of do it yourself plastic surgery and self administered electro convulsive therapy. Neither worked.I will talk of the FEMONS - female monsters that have destroyed my life, of growing up in a sexless house and of hate. Of learning to love that hate because it was all I found to love. It loved me back too.This novella is made up of a series of unpublished articles, unpublished because they were never offered to anyone. It was hard for me to read them without giving others the chance but now as I reach my allotted time on earth I am changing.It is time for the *BIG REVEAL*. It is time because time has run out for me, time to change and be reborn. My life is nearly over.But there may still be one final act to come if I do not want to die alone.And a virgin.