I'm Being Stalked by a Moonshadow

Did you know that grasshoppers hear with their legs?
And a pregnant goldfish is called a twit? Seth Parrot knows hundreds of little facts like these, because his father tells them to him. What Seth doesn't know is: Where do you meet muscular girls? How do you make them fall in love with you? Would a different haircut help? Is credit card fraud a good idea? What on earth is a moonshadow? By the end of the story, Seth will know the answer to four of these questions. They won't come from his father. They'll come from a very wise magazine called Dolly. From the author of Tumble Turn comes a hilarious new novel about muscles, love and a flower-hating Eastern European.