I am a Servant

This story is Trian's story of meeting Tom Mindbender, dedicated servant of the High Council told in first person view of Trian's. This story is told in first person point of view of Trian's told in I point of view instead of third person that is already published online Smashwords. This story was sent to magazines' for consideration of publication but wound up rejected as a result. Please let the author know what the reader thinks of the story. The magazines didn't give very clear detailed information to why's they rejected this story for their publications.