How To Prosper In The Coming Apocalypse

Worried about inflation? Concerned about nuclear arms in the hands of terrorists? Nervous about fuel costs? This investment guide and survivalist's handbook in one is all you need to gear up for windfall profits while friends and in-laws lose their shirts. This book will enable you to watch the final convulsions of civilization from the verandah of your country estate. Invaluable strategies and suggestions include tips on: Finding and fortifying your rural hideaway--(DO keep a spare copy of the minefield map; DON'T run the toaster while the electric fence is on.) New Careers in Armageddon--People are going to need marksmanship lessons, evacuation luggage, places to flee (group rates available for mass stampedes). Plan ahead and cash in when the panic hits! The Scarcity Investment Plan--Stock up now on valium, lead shields, and bankruptcy forms. (Full details available in our monthly newsletter-subscribe!) Doomsday etiquette--Looting protocol, dressing for a food riot, bomb shelter décor, a basic getaway wardrobe. (DON'T forget trinkets for the natives; DO wear comfortable shoes.) When the trumpets sound-and the end of the world is nigh-remember to pick up your dry cleaning, cancel your subscription to TV Guide, and call your mother. And don't forget to pack your copy of How to Prosper in the Coming Apocalypse.