Genesis According to Methuselah

Methuselah, the oldest person who has ever lived, goes on a quest for truth, expanding the Bible with humor. He writes, My best marriage was to Sheilabenautumn, a living doll. I called her She. She called me Meth Honey. But I suffered from the neighbors evil gossip. I was 603, and She was a mere 133. The neighbors said I had robbed the cradle.

The author, with tongue in cheek, traces the world of Adam and Eve, Noah, and the patriarchs through Methuselahs eyes and ears in a style that is a mock modernization of the terminology in the Bible. For example, God named the first man Adam and said, Live long and prosper.

When Eve became overweight, Adam couldnt understand why. She explained, I think theres a person inside of me because I feel kicking in my stomach. I dont know from which orifice he will come out.

This is a new version of the Bible that will cause readers to laugh aloud.