Fashionably Fanged

I have to trap the most evil, worst bad dude in existence without actually turning him to ash. So, what's a Vampyre to do? For starters, enter an undead beauty pageant—in Oklahoma—where the hair is jacked and the contestants are busty and brainless.   My name is Venus. I'm a two-hundred-year old killing machine and I'm trading in my daggers and sword for a sparkly dress and an obscene swim suit. Tiny strips of Lycra are not my typical battle wear, but when in Oklahoma…   Armed with a fairly decent attitude, two debatably heterosexual insane old ladies, a woman I'd wanted to kill less than eight hours ago and the possible love of my undead life, I'm in over my head with this. Of course I have no clue what this is going to entail, but that's never stopped me before.   I'm learning quickly nothing is as it seems—not my past and least of all my future. With the not-so-angelic Angels watching our every move and more butt glue, lipstick and hairspray than I knew existed, I'm gonna take my fate by the balls and twist. Hard.   In a race with death for the cursed life of the man I'm falling in love with, there's no room for error. Especially when I can't decide if I'd rather head butt him or jump his sexy bones.   Mixed up in a tangled trap of spotlights, sequins and seduction, I'm gunning for a crown and my happily ever after with the arrogant alpha-hole who makes me feel alive.   And the winner is… Hopefully me.