Tap cover to enlarge

Every Time I Think About Sex I Get Vexed

Published
Jul 2020
Main Genre
General Fiction General Fiction
Rating
Pages
114

About This Book

Hold on. This wasn't how I envisioned this would be. I mean, in the movies the music is right, the girl is patiently anticipating the love, and the guy is mentally psyching himself up for what is supposed to be the most life-altering, man-producing moment of his life. But that did not happen. Not even close.

The stupid cassette tape was skipping, so Baby Face's "I only think of you" came out as "I only tink on you." Really romantic song, eh? I only fart on you on two occasions... just great.

This magic moment wasn't magical at all. Fine, she was in her element as an older seasoned woman who was body-aware and confident and in control. Me, not so much. I had laboured breathing, sweaty palms, and a severe case of hebetude thwarted my cool "mojo," as it were. My first time was a flop of epic proportions.

Oh well, there's a reason it's called the first, not that I was already looking forward to my second, but I knew there was at least a mulligan to come, and it could only get better from here, right?

Genres & Themes

Buy This Book

Formats & Editions

Browse the different covers, formats, and publication history for this title.

Paperback

Paperback edition cover
Trade Paperback
Jul 2020 Tellwell Talent ISBN 0228828716
Buy

Hardcover

Hardcover edition cover
Hardcover
First Edition Jul 2020 Tellwell Talent ISBN 0228828724
Buy

eBook

eBook edition cover
eBook
Jul 2020 Tellwell Talent ISBN B08CS28R3K
Buy
eBook edition cover
eBook
Jul 2020 Tellwell Talent ISBN 0228828732
Buy
eBook edition cover
eBook
Jul 2020 Tellwell

Audio

Audio edition cover
Audible
Nov 2021 Tellwell Talent ISBN B09LPJSKTD
Buy