Conflicts, Confessions, and Christmas Kisses

Ever since Friday, my best guy friend and I have not been speaking. Somehow, we had gotten into a small argument over nothing and it had turned into a big argument. Somewhere during the argument, I had said some horrible and untrue things that I wish more than anything that I could take back. Out of anger, I had told Brady that I wished that I had never fallen in love with him, and that he was the biggest jerk that I had ever met. In return, Brady had said that he wished he had never fallen in love with me, and asked why would he ever want to become exclusive with someone like me? That had hurt me. For two days, I was livid at him. However, that anger that I had initially directed at Brady had soon become directed at myself. If I had not said what I had said to Brady, he would not have said what he said to me. At this point, I do not blame Brady for saying what he did. In fact, I am not angry at nor hate him, either. I am heartbroken because I have more than likely ruined my chances with a wonderful and genuine guy that means the world to me.