Calamity Jayne Heads West

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE COYOTE? IT GOT STUCK IN A TRAP, CHEWED OFF THREE LEGS AND WAS STILL STUCK.

Tressa Jayne Turner, Grandville Iowa's own little "Calamity," is headed for the Grand Canyon State—and a wedding! No, not her own. She hasn't said yes to the roguish Ranger Rick yet, but after the past year, some downtime in a sweat lodge is just what the shaman ordered.

Unfortunately, it's her goofy granny gettin' hitched, and Tressa's sunny little siesta is about to have more strings attached than a dream catcher. Her cousin's keeping secrets, Rick's sending signals—more of the smokin' than smoke variety—and it seems Tressa's not the only person with an attachment to "Kookamunga", the butt-ugly fertility figurine she picked up at a roadside stand as a wedding gift. The wacky wedding's about to become a southwestern scavenger hunt, an amazing race cum Da Vinci Code-intrigue, featuring a washed-up actress out to kick-start her career, a suspect spiritual advisor, locals with a cause, and a ten-year-old who's a chip off a certain ranger's blockhead. It'll be a vision quest to make Thelma and Louise's southwestern spree seem like amateur night at the OK Corral. May the best spirit guide win.