Bittersweet Trust

Trust- The firm belief in the reliability, honesty, ability, and strength of someone or something. I let every wall I had built around my heart crumble to the ground for him. He told me to trust him, and I did. I never thought that trusting someone would be my biggest downfall. I listened to his promises and thought I could believe him. I actually thought I could be the reason he would stay... I can't trust him. She can't trust me. I hate him. She hates me.... ... I'm sure of it. Why shouldn't she? I knocked her up and then walked out on her. It's better this way. I'm fucked up, lost, and no good for her or our baby. The pain is unbearable without her, but she deserves better... At least that's what I keep telling myself. I still love her. I loved him. She loves me, and she knows it... ... But this time she doesn't want me anymore, doesn't need me anymore. Suddenly, it occurs to me that I may have actually lost her for the rest of my life. I need her to love me. I still love him... With the broken promises of the past threatening to destroy us, I don't think we can give in and move forward. Everything has changed between us; I have changed. There are risks I'm not willing to take anymore... If anything, I've learned love is nothing without trust.