Armageddon: The Musical

"To the top-selling ranks of humorists such as Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, let us welcome Mr. Rankin."—The Times (London)

From the point of view of 2050, you're history.
 
Theological warfare, Elvis on an epic time-travel journey—the Presliad. Buddhavision—a network bigger than God (and more powerful, too). Nasty nuclear leftovers. Naughty sex habits. Dalai Dan (the 153rd reincarnation of the Lama of that ilk) and Barry, the talkative Time Sprout. Even with all this excitement, you wouldn't think a backwater planet like Earth makes much of a splash in the galactic pond.
 
But the soap opera called The Earthers is making big video bucks in the intergalactic ratings race. And alien TV execs know exactly what the old earth drama needs to make the off-world audience sit up and stare: a spectacular Armageddon-type finale. With a cast of billions—including you!